Pat…I could cry reading this article…you have described my personal experience to a tee. Change of subject, awkward silence is commonplace. The attitude of “it’s not my problem “ or “what did Israel do to cause such hatred?”…I have heard it all. From so-called friends. It’s felt hopeless to articulate as why do we need to constantly defend our right to exist as humans? You understand 💯and I appreciate your writing 💯🙏🏻🇮🇱
Dear Shelley ... thank you so much for your words. This is why I write. I'll be doing something very soon on the specifics of how "friends" have been treating Jews lately ... Stay tuned!
I have repeatedly been told when trying to express my experience that I can't possibly know what I am talking about BECAUSE I am a Jew. Because of ancestral trauma, because of exaggeration of perception of antisemitism as I cannot be impartial and see the other side and because of my connection with Israel which means I am biased. Thank you for writing this article.
Thanks, Jessie, for your message. Yes … in every other instance, the world says that lived experience is the paramount consideration in responding to a person. Except Jews, where they are told the opposite — your experience is problematized and rejected.
Once again, you've deconstructed one of my pet peeves: using "Jewish" instead of "Jew" My father used to say we were cosmopolitans and I only learned as an adult that this was code for Jew, which was a dirty word, and that he was being ironic. I thought it was cool to be a cosmopolitan, still do, actually, wish more people were.
When I click on the underlined terms in this article I get a message saying this website can't connect to email. I'm sure this is some kind of electronic problem on my end but thought I'd mention it. I'd love to watch the segment of the show you reference.
I decided several years ago, when it finally sank in that people thought the word "Jew" was an epithet, to take back the word. At first, I could feel the power and the implied threat in writing the word "Jew", even when I was writing about mundane things. The more I used it, the more I felt its shadow meanings start to fade away. I feel it's very important for all Jews - all writers - to reclaim this word.
(btw, my awareness of this issue began in 1971 when, as I was crossing my college campus, a recruiter for Campus Crusade for Christ asked me to take a survey. She looked startled when I told her I was a Jew. She responded "...but I didn't know Jews could have blue eyes!" I saw the innocence in her own eyes when she stated this. Instead of feeling insulted or disrespected, I gently corrected her impression of the stereotypical Jew, and told her about my family from the Pale of Settlement, the Blue-eyed wonders in our family, the Blondies, the Redheads, the diversity of type. I knew she had no idea!
Two years later I moved to Wichita, Kansas, which had a teeny tiny Jewish community. The odds of knowingly meeting a Jew in Kansas were remote. So when a young woman, in wonder, told me "I've never met a Jewess before!" I was not surprised. I was flattered initially to be called Jewess because it sounded so much like Princess! It took me a few years to have it slowly dawn in me that she probably used the word "Jewess" for one or two reasons. One - because "Jew" sounded so harsh, and two - because she'd probably heard a fairy tale featuring the beautiful, exotic, helpful "Jewess" in the (I imagined) story.
Pat…I could cry reading this article…you have described my personal experience to a tee. Change of subject, awkward silence is commonplace. The attitude of “it’s not my problem “ or “what did Israel do to cause such hatred?”…I have heard it all. From so-called friends. It’s felt hopeless to articulate as why do we need to constantly defend our right to exist as humans? You understand 💯and I appreciate your writing 💯🙏🏻🇮🇱
Dear Shelley ... thank you so much for your words. This is why I write. I'll be doing something very soon on the specifics of how "friends" have been treating Jews lately ... Stay tuned!
I have repeatedly been told when trying to express my experience that I can't possibly know what I am talking about BECAUSE I am a Jew. Because of ancestral trauma, because of exaggeration of perception of antisemitism as I cannot be impartial and see the other side and because of my connection with Israel which means I am biased. Thank you for writing this article.
Thanks, Jessie, for your message. Yes … in every other instance, the world says that lived experience is the paramount consideration in responding to a person. Except Jews, where they are told the opposite — your experience is problematized and rejected.
Pat, thank you!
Once again, you've deconstructed one of my pet peeves: using "Jewish" instead of "Jew" My father used to say we were cosmopolitans and I only learned as an adult that this was code for Jew, which was a dirty word, and that he was being ironic. I thought it was cool to be a cosmopolitan, still do, actually, wish more people were.
When I click on the underlined terms in this article I get a message saying this website can't connect to email. I'm sure this is some kind of electronic problem on my end but thought I'd mention it. I'd love to watch the segment of the show you reference.
Maybe I can google it.
Thanks Catherine. Cosmopolitans are fabulous!
And I’ve fixed the links. Sorry about that!
Thank you twice!
I decided several years ago, when it finally sank in that people thought the word "Jew" was an epithet, to take back the word. At first, I could feel the power and the implied threat in writing the word "Jew", even when I was writing about mundane things. The more I used it, the more I felt its shadow meanings start to fade away. I feel it's very important for all Jews - all writers - to reclaim this word.
(btw, my awareness of this issue began in 1971 when, as I was crossing my college campus, a recruiter for Campus Crusade for Christ asked me to take a survey. She looked startled when I told her I was a Jew. She responded "...but I didn't know Jews could have blue eyes!" I saw the innocence in her own eyes when she stated this. Instead of feeling insulted or disrespected, I gently corrected her impression of the stereotypical Jew, and told her about my family from the Pale of Settlement, the Blue-eyed wonders in our family, the Blondies, the Redheads, the diversity of type. I knew she had no idea!
Two years later I moved to Wichita, Kansas, which had a teeny tiny Jewish community. The odds of knowingly meeting a Jew in Kansas were remote. So when a young woman, in wonder, told me "I've never met a Jewess before!" I was not surprised. I was flattered initially to be called Jewess because it sounded so much like Princess! It took me a few years to have it slowly dawn in me that she probably used the word "Jewess" for one or two reasons. One - because "Jew" sounded so harsh, and two - because she'd probably heard a fairy tale featuring the beautiful, exotic, helpful "Jewess" in the (I imagined) story.
Found the Jewish lawyer clip; hilarious. My father was one.